Happy 2017, y'all!
I am super excited for this year, mostly because I feel like this year may be different, with more changes, new friends, and possibly new experiences.
Already a few, tiny changes are happening just in these last few weeks.
One, of course, my 17th birthday, this Tuesday, January 24th. Already 12 months until adulthood, which is the big subject in this post today.
This year may be the biggest year of my life. One, this is my last year as a child at home, soon to be an adult. Two, I will be having more challenges, and questions towards me. And it mostly may have to do with me being a stay at home daughter.
A few years ago, I remember telling my Mom that I hated the idea of a house wife, and staying home. I wanted to get a job, be a nurse in the military, and had college in mind. But, as I grew up the next few years, I watched my Mom work around the house, making meals, teaching me and my siblings school, decorating her house all pretty, and I got to thinking....you know, this actually looks like fun! And it is! I started learning how to wash dishes by hand, which helped me think of stories to write. I learned how to fold laundry, which I pretended was a race to see how fast and well I could fold it. I even learned how to make a baby bottle and feed it to my baby siblings, which is a precious gift. I made it a fun game at first. But, now, even this past year, it began to get harder. Making meals for a family of 9 kids (haven't made a full blown dinner yet), rotating laundry, cleaning the bathrooms each week, and babysitting! Oh, babysitting! A fun, and very challenging task, but training for when I am in my own home, and my kids are at home.
And that is when the questions came. "Are you going to college?", "Why don't you want to go to college?", "Are you dating yet?"
And, I patiently answer...."No." And why?
#1. College. I like the idea of college. It's a great way to train for your future job. But I am not planning on having a job....outside of the house. For one, it isn't very interesting to me now that I have a calling from God to be a house wife. Two, I don't have any ideas on having a job. Besides, I have a job here at home right now, and in my future for me and my Prince Charming. But, I will be urging my future sons (and any daughters who REALLY, REALLY, REALLY want) to go to college. But, at this point, it's very far from my mind.
#2. Dating. A few years ago, there was a young man about my age who had an interest in me. At first, I didn't notice it, but as the months went by, Mom helped me notice it. At first, I felt a little...you know...giggly, and excited that a boy finally liked me. But, after a while, he began to go down a path that I didn't want to go along with, so Mom helped me take a step back. And the idea of dating at that time SCARED ME OUT OF THIS WORLD!!!!!! I just wanted to be friends, and that was it. But, now, dating doesn't seem so scary to me...if I do it right both to my morals and standards, my parents standards, and God's rules. I have watched a few friends go through dating in a way that I don't want. More than one boyfriend, talking behind people's backs, and the immense pain in their eyes and voice, even though they put a smile on their face. I don't want that. I want a close relationship with the man who I know in my gut, and in the Holy Spirit, that will be my future husband. I don't want to go from boy to boy to boy to boy, constantly searching for the right guy. I don't look for a pretty face, (even though every girl does have that feeling around a very handsome boy), but for a character after God's own heart, and will love me for who I am, and is not self centered. I have had interests in a few young boys my age, who do have a very handsome face. But, after getting to know them well...yikes. And my mother gave me one of the best pieces of advice that I will always remember..."There is more to someone than a pretty face." And it's true. I began to look not on the outside, but on the inside of my guy friends, and I began to see their true characters. And I started to understand who I was really looking for. It's not the face of John Willoughby from Sense and Sensibility, but the heart of Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice.
And my own morals that I have chosen also will help with dating. I've chosen, long ago, after deciding to become a house wife, and a stay at home mother, that I wanted to be a stay at home daughter, until the day of my wedding. I don't want to go around with boys, searching endlessly. I want to help and guidance of my parents, and Christ, as Jesus brings me a man that He has set lovingly and patiently apart, just for me. And I want to be that girl that Jesus has set aside lovingly and patiently for that man. I want to have the relationship with my future husband like my Mom and Dad, where they are always there for each other, no matter what. Like the phrase says so itself, "'Till death do us part." And even there, they're not separated.
Okay, now, why do I want to be a house wife, and stay at home mother? Why not put my kids into school? I'll be trapped with house work, ALL. DAY. LONG!!!!
Well....let me say this first. I understand that. I really do. But, that's not what I think, and believe, deep, deep down in my heart. These past few months, I have been planning, on a separate Pinterest board, a whole LOAD of pins on how I want my house to look like in the future. Yes, I will have loads of housework, but in the end of the day, I have a beautiful, clean house for my husband, who has worked all day long, no matter what job he has, and I want him to come home, leave the busy, messy, hard outside world, and as he opens the door to his tiny little house, to be welcomed in in the arms of his dear little wife, sit down to a home cooked meal, throw on his dressing gown and slippers, and lay in his favorite chair, kick his feet up, and know that inside, he cannot be bothered by the outside world. He has everything to satisfy him right in that little box, where no one, nothing can touch him in these precious moments.
And I want to be the one to have all day to prepare for that. And why do I not want to put my kids into school? What better joy, then when your child takes his/her first step, says their first word, uses a spoon for the first time. And what better way, then to teach school to your kids, until the day they leave your tiny little house, and go out to their destiny and fulfill their dreams, and you are the one to help in those dreams. You are with your precious children every single day, until you wave your last goodbye, kiss their cheek, and tell them I love you. And even there is not the end. GRAND KIDS!!!!!! And the process goes all over again in an entirely new stage.
I also want my kids to know their parents better in a loving, safe way. I want my daughters beside me as I make their meal, each one with a carrot and knife in their hands, learning how to cut it correctly into a beef stew. I want them to learn how to elaborately learn how to fix each other's hair for their first prom. I want them each to fulfill their girl dreams, as I go along with them. I want my sons to sit in their father's lap, as he teaches them the stories of heroes of the past. I want them to learn how chop firewood and to whittle toys for their younger siblings. I want them to train on future skills for their jobs. But, most of all, I want my children to welcome my husband home each night with every open arm, laughing, smiling, telling him what they learned in school that day, showing him their latest projects. I want him to sit each child down, and read them a Bible story each night before bed. I want him to have the chance to tuck them in, each with a prayer, and watch them fall asleep. I want that for my kids, and my husband. And if I'm working, or my kids are in school...how will I be able to provide that for him and my kids?
So, this doesn't seem like the average life of every single woman out there. That's fine, and alright. But, I have had a calling for this for a few years now, and it hasn't changed since. It's actually grown stronger. I am very excited to meet my future husband, no matter what he is like. Whether he is tall, short, a different nationality, speaks a different language, or in any job situation, I will love him for who he is, and hope that he will love me for who I am.
It's going to be a very interesting year this year, as I prepare for this calling and direction that I have chosen. One of my favorite poems has to do with a path that isn't normally taken.
The Road Not Taken
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the underground;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as far that the passing there
Had warn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
(Robert Frost 1874-1963)
It's really the truth about the path I am taking. And I couldn't wish to have it any other way. I hope that this will inspire those with the same calling, to not be afraid to take the less traveled path, because there is a wonderful life awaiting you on the other side.
This article was featured in Issue #128 of The Christian Home Magazine.
This article was featured in Issue #128 of The Christian Home Magazine.